Year’s End Reminisce

I look back on 2014, and while many things didn’t go as I’d planned it was the best writing year of my life, by far. It is important to stop and look at the goals you’ve achieved from time to time, otherwise you end up wondering why you aren’t at the finish line already. It takes time! With that said, let’s take a look at the year in review from an authorial standpoint.

I finished my first full-length novel, and I got a really good jump on the second. My blogs aren’t where I want them to be, but they’re much more established than they were at the beginning of the year. I have a decent readership, and I’ve also had the honor of writing for Bell of Lost Souls throughout the latter half of the year.

I’ve made writing a daily habit, and I can’t stress this enough to those of you who aspire to write. You cannot achieve your goals if you don’t make time for writing each and every day. Even if it’s only fifty words jotted onto a notepad in the doctor’s waiting room, progress is progress!

I look forward to making 2015 even more productive than this year, and I hope that this will be the year I announce the publication of my first work. I thank those of you who have read my ramblings these past months, and I hope to continue with you in the new year.

In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas!

Editing: Once More Unto the Breach!

Dawnbringer is back from my initial readers, with lots of praise and a few pointers for correction. Overall I’m happy with the responses I’m getting, and I’m still eagerly anticipating the comments from a few last readers.

In the meantime, with NaNoWriMo having come to an end, I will be returning to the editing process. I’m still holding my feet to the fire and writing one thousand words per day, but my primary focus is shifting back to revision. By the end of the year I plan to have a draft that is ready to be submitted to a few lucky agents!

I’ve always been nervous about sharing my work with others, and I didn’t expect nearly so positive of a response. With that said, the book did seem to speak to my readers, and I wanted that more than anything else. If the story doesn’t evoke an emotional journey for my reader, then I feel as if I’ve failed somewhere in the creative process.

A few more weeks, and I’ll take the next intrepid step on this crazy journey!

What I Learned from NaNoWriMo

Well, November is finally over, and with it goes National Novel Writing Month. Oh, that bittersweet trial of knocking your head against a wall until 50,000 words pop out and scatter themselves into some vague semblance of order on the page. That bestial dragon, casting shadows on the land of creativity with that dreaded specter of productivity.

The two are not mutually exclusive, however, and I proved that by accomplishing the 50,000 word mark over the course of November! It was a close-run thing, given the fact that I was seriously ill for the last week of the challenge, but I did manage to finish off that dreaded word count. There are several things I take away from the challenge, and I’d like to share them with you today. These don’t apply to writing specifically, but serve as good advice with life in general.

1.      You’re capable of more than you think.

I’ve spent the last two years trying to force myself to write one thousand words per day. I always thought that this was enough, given the fact that I hold down a full-time job and then operate three blogs in addition to what I consider “actual writing.” Still, I often found myself giving excuses at the end of the day.

“You worked hard on other stuff. Give yourself a break.”

“You earned one day off.”

“No one is perfect. Pick it back up and try again tomorrow.”

NaNoWriMo forces these excuses out the window. If you’re serious about making the mark, then you have to keep your nose to the grindstone day after day. I slipped once early on and took a couple of days off, and before I knew it I was playing catch-up for the first half of the challenge. Still, that desire to persevere kept me at it when sanity said I should have been sleeping.

If you want something enough, you will do what it takes to see it happen. Turn off the inhibitors, and see where you can truly take yourself.

2.      Planning ahead allows you to reap dividends later.

2013 was my first attempt at NaNo. I was already mid-stream in my first book, so I figured I could just use the word count requirement as a means of keeping myself on pace. Considering the fact that I was inventing the world of Cestre and all of its content at this time, I fell flat on my face, accomplishing a whopping two or three thousand words for the month.

That first novel became an incredibly drawn-out affair that took almost eighteen months to complete. However, I finished up my polished draft and handed it to beta readers a few days before NaNo kicked off in 2014. With my batteries charged and the groundwork of my novel’s setting already well sketched out, I plotted my second book and barged into November with my keyboard blazing.

With anything you do in life, planning in advance will make things run more smoothly. Get a sense of direction and make a framework for what you would like to see happen, and then go with it!

3.      Save the second-guessing until the bulk of the work is complete.

This one obviously doesn’t apply to everything in life, but any project that can be fine-tuned at little cost in energy later benefits from that early enthusiasm as fuel. I poured the words to the page, grimacing as some of the dialogue came off as stilted but forcing myself to push on. I knew that if I became bogged down in a particular scene, I would never fully get the project off the ground.

If you sit at the starting line and second-guess yourself, you’ll never have to worry about making mistakes along the way. You’ll never even get on the track.

NaNo was an extremely enlightening experience for me, and I plan to keep my discipline and knock out one thousand words per day until next November rolls around. As long as I keep plugging forward I know my writing will continue to improve. With any luck, it will pay off in the coming year as I put the final touches on the first book in the Dawnbringer series.

NaNoWriMo!

November is National Novel Writing Month, and I have been plugging away in an attempt to keep pace along the way. The goal is to write approximately 1,700 words each day, giving you a grand total of 50,000 when the month comes to an end. This is a daunting task, but it is also very doable if you stick to the plan.

I’m slightly behind at the moment after a busy weekend, with just over 26,000 words in the book bank. However, I plan to use the rest of this week to get caught back up and on-schedule to finish NaNoWriMo strong.

There are a lot of local groups that help other writers network with like-minded individuals, and I’ve enjoyed meeting and speaking with a few local writers. Rick Amburgey who works with the Herald-Citizen has been involved with the project, and was kind enough to speak with me about doing a WriMo piece for the newspaper’s White County page. It has been a big motivator to speak with others who are as passionate about reading and writing as I am!

If you are a writer who would like to take part in NaNoWriMo, it is easy and free. Just visit their webpage at www.nanowrimo.org to get started. You may not make it to 50,000 words, but you will definitely be encouraged by a community of writers who are all making their own mission in this world to add to the literary world.

Poem – Brief

Life is short, and the time must be used wisely.

Enjoy.

Brief

Fresh light spills through glass

New mist forms in air

Breath draws in for first time

Born into world of care

Mist burns up so quickly

Sunset slips through glass

Final breath departs body

To eternity’s station pass.

Randall Madden

November 9, 2014

Poem - Nightmare Macabre

I've been sitting on the majority of this one for a while, with plans to polish it up and post it on Halloween. I could go into details about the best-laid plans and all that, but suffice to say it simply got away from me. Running with a three-year-old and trying to get in at least one traditional Halloween movie made sure that I was late, as usual!

This one was a great exercise for me, as I truly enjoy letting the Poe side out. I also completed this work in iambic pentameter, to mimic the beating of a frightened human heart. To read it appropriately, each line should come faster than the last. (For an understanding of iambic pentameter, check here)

Terror awakens a different dimension of the human mind, and I always feel more alive after allowing those creative juices to flow. Enjoy!

Nightmare Macabre

Awake in the night, sleep usurped by fear

A short ride is needed, myself I tell

Cannot shake realism, nightmare’s cold grasp

Buried alive in an eternal hell

Feeling so foolish, held awake by fear

Yet a feeling that cannot be pushed back

Is that a leering face in the corner

Awaiting my approach for an attack?

“A drive it will be,” I say to myself

In the vain hope that this feeling might pass

Yet that fathomless terror comes back now

When the monster looks back through smoky glass

I exit home, make my way to the truck

Am I caught in some nefarious game?

Candle burns in the house across the road

Home abandoned, yet light burns all the same

I pull from the drive and start down the road

Not sure where to go, but sure that I should

Bloodied teddy is gripped in the hands of

A little girl who stands alone at the woods

She smiles and waves as I drive by her tree

Rotting flesh is flaking from her cold hand

I press the gas as my heart starts to pound

Is it madness that has taken this land?

A light rain falls as my journey begins

High overhead, the moon rots from the sky

Birds fly backward as they return to nest

Where fell offspring feed on men as they die

The steady drizzle becomes a downpour

Then the downpour becomes terrible flood

Windshield is spattered with warm viscera

As the rain from the dark sky turns to blood

As I drive I’m haunted by dark whispers

And tales that men are nothing more than meat

I’m told these grim truths by a bloody fiend

A demon who sits in passenger seat

I turn back to home, for night is too dark

And the nightmares are escape from new real

The world has become too gruesome and grim

And the moon rises once more over hill

As night resets I return to my bed

There I will hide from the phantoms that stalk

Then the shadows detach from their objects

And to my fear-wracked form they start to walk

A fathomless terror besets me then

And the feeling becomes thicker than air

I hear a terrified voice, screaming, near

When I turn then to look, no one is there

I’m left with little sanity to tell

From the dreams dreamed, and the horrors I sight

And the dark shadow creatures come closer

As the thirteenth chime sounds at black midnight

And now as their prey I’m left to wonder

Considering dark places that I’ve flown

Can I ever return to sanity

After the depths of madness that I’ve known?
“This is still just a dream!” some voice tells me

But I realize as the shadow-things creep

That the dream my mind formed was a falsehood

And my tortured self was never asleep.

Randall Madden

November 4, 2014

Progress Report – Initial Readers, Here I Come!

It has been almost ten years since I had the dream that formed the beginnings of my novel. I wrote the first page when I was in college, saving it in a folder titled, “here is a book idea to get you started.” In June of last year, I decided to pick it back up when I was dusting off all my old writings.

I finished my initial draft several months back, and after several setbacks that left me behind my intended schedule, I finally got around to the dreaded editing process. I attacked this with gusto for the last few months, and then set back to writing a new character that I felt the story needed.

Edits, late nights, and borderline insanity came and went. I’m happy to say that the printer is chugging, and my first “official” draft is complete. Tomorrow, I will hand my book to my first test reader!

I have so many people to thank for listening to me along the way. My wife, Brittany, has been absolutely instrumental in keeping me motivated to this point. She was always happy to listen to parts of the story along the way, and I have spoiled almost every plot twist for her from start to finish. Josh Griffin and Elisabeth Perkins also get a big hand, for they listened when I really felt like I needed someone’s advice on the book.

I also owe it to the teachers along the way that helped me come to this completed manuscript. Mrs. Ford, my Kindergarten teacher, instilled a love for writing and reading in me that has carried through to this day. I also owe thanks to mom, for encouraging me to keep writing over the years when I was ready to just give up on my dream.

So look out initial readers, I’m coming for you starting tomorrow! Barring any major rewrites, I plan to start 2015 by looking for an agent to help sell my book.

All done, and just in time for NaNoWriMo!

Progress Report - Book Finished! Again...

For the second time, I am ticking off the “complete” box next to the first Dawnbringer book!

When I finished the first manuscript several months back I was discussing it with Brittany. She has been a great source of inspiration and insight when it comes to the inner workings of my book, and after one of our late night discussions I realized that I was missing a major story arc that I really needed to tell. The book takes place during a major war, and the entire civilian population of one side had been left out of the book. I was busy looking for a way to showcase some aspects of their society, and Brittany pointed out the potential solution that I wound up taking.

So here I am, another 40,000 words later, and the book is done…again…sort of…

I have to go back and do my edits now, and I have a handful of small chapters that still need to be written. Once all of this is finished, the book will be ready for initial readers. I’m hoping this will happen over the weekend, but if I’ve learned anything through the book writing process, it’s that patience is an important virtue.

Stay tuned!

Poem – Deliver Me

In my mind, poetry should speak honestly before all else. Without exposing raw emotion, it really falls short of showcasing the truest bits of our humanity.

With that in mind, I’ve written a more frustrated piece this week, hearkening to several weeks of hard knocks. The purpose was merely to vent some of the mounting frustrations that I had been facing.

In my desire to expose some element of raw emotion, I hope it delivers.

Deliver Me

Deliver me, O Lord

From a world of indifference

Cold numbers and statistics

Mark what should be much more

Cold slabs of meat

All that remains of humanity

Carcasses, still drawing breath

In a world of jaded despair

Where went our basic dignity

And respect for one another?

Lost, like the teachings of the Law

In that cursed Israelite generation

I scream, I cry, I rail

Cannot anybody hear me?

Songbird’s call drowned out

In the buzz of monotonous gray

Lord, please deliver me.

Randall Madden

October 2, 2014

A Poem and a Story

This past week has been a rough one for me. I was hospitalized with a very bad stomach infection, and actually wondered at a couple of points if I was going to die. To make a long and miserable story short, I was able to recover, and I’m home today with my family and with a new perspective on life.

I wrote a poem a few days back, and I understand its meaning even more now than I did before my ordeal. When I was laying sick in my hospital bed, I remember waking and feeling infinitely better, and knowing as I watched the sunrise that I was lucky to see its beauty once more. How many people passed away in the night, never living to see that beautiful change of the sky? I was given a good lesson: never take for granted the life you’ve been given, live every day to its fullest, and know that the things of this world are all going to decay and rot with time. Live and love like today is your last day, and never be ashamed of time spent having fun with those you love.

Enough rambling. On to the poem…

Journey’s End

The hurried man pressed on

Alone, through the wood

Each step moving forward

Quickly as he could

No nose for the smells

Nor eyes to sightsee

A schedule maintained

Meant places to be

On weary pace forward

By chance he did meet

Fellow traveler, all dozing

At mighty oak’s feet

This second man smiled

Content wave his greeting

The first scowled and moved on

No time for chance meeting

What a queer way to live,

The first thought of the second

One must strive to ignore

These distractions that beckon

Yet imagine surprise

When the first man did see

The second man once more

Asleep at the tree

“Have I circled?” he wondered,

“Or is he this fast?

How else could this be

That last man that I passed?”

The second sat up

With a wave and a smile

“Would you care to sit, friend,

And rest for a while?”

“Why do you tarry

And waste so much time

With challenges to face

And mountains to climb?”

“I’ve climbed my own mountains,”

Said man number two

“I walk the same path,

But I’m different than you.”

The first shook his head,

Smiled, mocking and sad

“You must learn to rush

If good things you would have.”

“Oh! Never,” he answered

While patting the tree

“The things here worth having

Are closer to free.”

With a snort and a shake,

The first man pushed on

Seeing no sense

In this second man’s song

Yet no matter how frantic

No matter how fast

The man made his pace

The second he passed

First once and then twice,

A third time, you see

The first man caught up

To that man by the tree

And too soon came winter

The trees fell to gray

The man became weary

As night replaced day

He stumbled and tripped

And the schedule did fall

For all clear the date

When that night comes to call

“Glad to see you!”

The second man said

As the two lay immobile

On hospital bed

“What happened to beauty?”

The first wailed in fright

“I worked to find peace,

Once I reached this twilight.

Yet I’ve found only pain

And despair in the cold.

Now the beauty is gone

And I find myself old.”

“The beauty is here,”

The contented man said

A wizened old finger

Gestured to the head

The first man thought hard

For mem’ry that satisfied

But his life had been built

On a system that lied

“You can enjoy the breeze

Or grasp for the wind

But death waits for us all

At this journey’s end.”

Randall Madden

September 21, 2014

Another Milestone

I’ve worked to expand my online readership for quite some time now. When I first got serious about being published, I read in every article the suggestion to build a large reader base online. In pursuit of this goal, I’ve been working on an opening on some of the gaming sites I’ve frequented in the past.

It finally paid off when I was accepted to write for Bell of Lost Souls, covering various aspects of Dropzone Commander. As a result, I’ve been able to build more readership on my own blogs and work toward the goal of being published.

With that said, the added responsibilities have cut down on my normal writing time, which means that the intended draft has yet to be finished. I’ve got one and a half paragraphs to go, which will be followed by a round of edits prior to readership. It has taken much longer than I originally intended, but I am going to stick with it no matter how long it takes. I’ve learned to be much more patient, and I also know that a good thing simply cannot be rushed.

For those who have followed my journey, I appreciate the support. One day, I hope that a finished product will make it to your hands.

Poem - To Sleep

Oh, that most lovely of feelings!

To slip from reality’s snare

Spend an hour in refugee status

Fleeting trip, without a care

A dozen short memories are made

In that phantom, ethereal mist

A fortune is made, a dragon is slain,

A beautiful maiden is kissed

The tendrils of sleep pull my mind

Allured, my perceptions, to trod

As the eyes drift shut, the tendrils will pull

‘Til that weariest head starts to nod

Oh that dreamscape, it beckons, so unfair

Our escape lasts for so short a time

Reality’s gaoler pursues us

And in pain and in cruelty they bind

To map that realm, an impossible task

Or at least that’s the way it would seem

Prison sentence will end as flesh sloughs away

In death comes the eternal dream.

Randall Madden

September 8, 2014

Poem - When I Was Alive

In times now past he became

He was born, he grew, he thrived

Do you remember those days spent playing

In the time he was truly alive?

Time went by so slowly then

Now it passes, so fast, seems to melt

As a child he dreamed and he marveled

But where went the joy he felt?

You’re now an adult, they tell him

You must see what is here, what is real

Yet the dream is his essence, he’s drowning

With no ear to hear what he feels

A world of worker ants, throbbing and pulsing

The heart of a heartless machine

Scalp gripped tightly by world’s cruel claws,

Nose forced to the grindstone, he screams

The skull that created is crushed

With the beauty inside left to spill

No concern for his art and his passion

Just his blood, to oil the wheel

And that’s why he’s gone away now

An attempt to escape from the pain

Tired of watching his life, going slowly

Sullied water, away through the drain

You could never have known when he left that day;

Left to you is to wonder why

It seems unfair to leave you wond’ring, alone,

As the last to see him alive.

Randall Madden

August 24, 2014

Progress Report

It has been such a long road to this point on the book. I’ve worked in genres with established backgrounds and worlds before, but with this fantasy series I’m building so much from the ground up. There are so many groups of peoples, areas in the world, and character stories to place together. Then there are the ways in which this world’s physics differ from our own, such as multiple moons and the presence of magic. Add in a history to keep straight and it has been a true journey in straightening out details.

I’m not complaining in the slightest. This has been a fantastic journey for me! I’m putting the final pages in this week, with a new character that came about from talks with my wife. Once these are done I have just a handful more edits to complete, and a single chapter to write in the middle of the book. Once these are done and cross-checked with my notes, I should be ready to release the draft to my initial group of readers.

I’m still so energized for the process, and I’m finding that the desire only grows as I come closer to the end. I’ve spent more time per day in the book as it comes to life, and I can only hope that others will be as interested in the story as I am. If everything goes to my plan, I should have the book in my first reader’s hands by this weekend!

Mission Impossible? – Empathizing With Female Characters

If you came here to find a misogynistic article to hate on, you have come to the wrong place. While my title may fit the definition of “click-bait,” it is more of a tongue-in-cheek way of summarizing the struggles I have experienced in writing effective, believable female characters as my writing style has matured and been polished.

As a writer, my goal is always to get into a character’s head. I want to know why they feel the way they do and why they do the things they do. In essence, your character must be real in order to convince the audience that they are real. To do this, you must have real motivations and actual problems that drive them.

When I first started writing in grade school this came easy. I was still operating with a young child’s understanding of the world, and all of my characters essentially fell into two molds. There were people like me (the good guys) and people who were different than me (the bad guys). The good guys all shared traits that I valued and respected, and this invariably meant that they were flat, one-dimensional beasts who were more or less me (or at least my idealized vision of myself). They were also invariably male.

As I grew in age and writing experience, I started to flesh out the idea of character empathy, working my way into character archetypes that varied from my own personality. This allowed me to add neutral characters, and it also allowed good guys that had personality traits I might consider annoying or less than ideal. They were, however, invariably male.

The next evolution in my writing technique came with bad guy empathy. This one was very hard for me, as I’m very much a “black-and-white” kind of person when it comes to right and wrong. However, I learned with practice to put aside my own values long enough to step into the mind of a given villain. I then realized that most of my bad guys through the first twenty years of my life were nothing more than mustache-twirling figureheads who cackled maniacally, representing evil in its purest form. By working to give them proper motivations I was able to create deeper bad guys, those who came across more as the angel fallen from grace. Still, however, there were no female leads, even in the bad guy camp.

I’ve always accepted that my writing projects were a build-up, practice for the real thing one day when I came across an idea I could take seriously. Dawnbringer is that project for me, and in its pages I have worked with every fiber of my being to bring a great variety of characters to life. I don’t necessarily want a given character to fit neatly into the realm of right or wrong. These people are meant to be believable human characters, and as such they should all inhabit areas of gray from time to time. Even if there is no malice in a character, it makes sense that they would occasionally do something wrong.

With all that said, I was determined to bring at least one female lead into play for the very first time. Her story started out simple enough, but as those who write will tell you it rarely stays that way. Complications arose throughout, and before I knew it I had a full-blown tragedy written into this young woman’s life. As I started to navigate her character through the issues, I felt like a driver just as he hits a patch of black ice.

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I am a sensitive person; I hope my wife agrees when I say that her feelings and opinions mean a great deal to me. Still, trying to reach into the head of this female character proved to be a struggle that I wasn’t initially sure how to navigate. It seems to me that some of it comes from cultural norms; we all throw around light-hearted jokes from time to time.

Women can’t drive.

Men will not read instructions.

Characters on television don’t help matters in this regard; the American father has been made into a figure of complete idiocy in all the sitcoms of late. These stereotypes only damage our ability to truly understand one another.

So, I unashamedly started visiting sites for women in similar predicaments to my character. What I read on these websites made my heart break. I experienced the realization that women have the same feelings of failure that I do when they fail to actualize society’s expectations. This is something I’ve always known to be true, but knowing something and being rocked by its actual affect are two completely different things.

I think it’s unfair to call what I went through an epiphany, but I definitely had an eye-opening moment as I realize all the false constructs our society sets up between the sexes are just that: false. Again this is something we all know, but I had a very real moment of empathizing with these women as they endured problems that I as a man cannot go through. If I were to summarize what I’m trying to say into a single sentence:

Women and men are alike in far more ways than they are different.

Now, this is not to deny the inherent differences between men and women. To pretend that these differences don’t exist is a lie that belittles our nature as human beings and attempts to hide some of the wonderful gifts that come to each sex. However, sometimes I think society as a whole tends to exaggerate the differences to the exclusion of our similarities. Men also experience societal expectations that they sometimes cannot fulfill, or choose not to fulfill. The social stigmas, awkwardness, and frustration are, I imagine, much the same.

The process of writing this complicated character has helped to actualize me as a person, and it has also caused me to urge others to make attempts at empathy. This doesn’t just apply to the opposite sex, it also applies to those with different beliefs, skin colors, and all the other wonderful things that make humanity diverse. We each have our own struggles, victories, and accomplishments that bring us to be who we are. Take the time to put yourself into the shoes of another, and appreciate what they go through in this life.

To those of you who read Dawnbringer one day, I desperately hope that I’ve brought all my characters to life, male and female, big and small. In my eyes, anything less would be a failure.

Poem - Unknown

A faintly whispering breeze

Coming toward me through the wood

I wonder why it frightens

I’m curious if it should

Unknowable ‘til arrival

Dark thoughts inside my head

Just wind? or cold Death’s touch

Causing tender leaves to shed?

No running, no escaping

Its ponderous crawl too fast

What is this terrible nothing

That has known me, in times past?

Noiseless cacophony crushes

As this bow wave sweeps me o’er

And I’m ripped from being, screaming

Like a child sucked from the shore

Reality crumbles ‘round me

The ground falls from beneath

That fathomless journey finds me

And I drift away, a leaf.

Randall Madden

August 5, 2014

Appreciation

I’ve always enjoyed telling a good story. Whether it is something I’ve imagined myself or the works of another creative mind, I just enjoy riveting the attention of a listener with some new imagining that they haven’t been a part of yet.

I wonder sometimes what it was like for the ancient storytellers, those who lived in a society where traditions and histories and family lineages were passed down around the campfire. I wonder at the honor afforded to a man as he relates the saga of a hero from his family, or the reception given to Homer as he recited the ancient adventures.

In our society, storytelling is mostly dead. Our people are too content to have their attention and time stolen a few seconds at a time, watching the next funny joke or cat video online. Social media has done much to eliminate this ancient way of society.

And yet there are still places where it thrives. My friends and I regale one another with stories on the weekends, and they have been patient in their suffering as I talk about the latest thing I’m writing. To my friends who play roleplaying games like Dungeons & Dragons, I salute you; in a very real way you are carrying forward the torch of those ancient storytellers.

Yet foremost among my appreciation to those who maintain the tradition is my own wife. Brittany has listened for literally hours and hours as I go on about my Dawnbringer series. She has asked questions that helped flesh out areas of that world that were lacking. Above all, she has been a voice of support when I’ve wondered if it was truly worth the time I’m spending.

Sometimes, when I’m ranting about my latest idea and telling her of cities and mountains that I’ve imagined in the tapestry of the mind, when I’m verging on becoming hoarse from speaking breathlessly to convey my ideas, I realize that I have been blessed with the perfect woman for my life. Her genuine interest in my love for storytelling, along with her passion for speculative fiction, has been a driving force that has kept me going.

So I take this space to say thank you to my wife. Through Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and countless more, we’ve shared a common love of stories and their importance to feeding our humanity. Through her love and support, she’s encouraged me to continue being a part of that storytelling tradition. Whether or not I ever sell my books, I will always have one dedicated reader that I can thank for making the time spent worthwhile.

This Highway

Life is a highway we all must take

No sign to announce our on-ramp

Thrust into traffic, so cautious at first

On this pitted old road there is so much at stake

Watch closely, young driver, there’s no turning back

A merger that’s missed is forevermore passed

And you’ll wonder what travels awaited you there

Gone forever, that squandered alternative track

You will also see cars all mangled and burned

There’s nothing to do that will help them

Lives lived in conflict, addiction, pain

Careless with loved ones they’ve trod on and spurned

Others you’ll pass while they’re broken down

Just wondering as life passes by

Lost on paths missed, real and imaginary

As their exit draws closer they dream of renown

Others will seek for the next road

Choosing exits that weren’t meant to be

Never can they see tragedy in their choice

Blinded by slipping, nefarious load

Remember, my son, life cannot be undone

You must live with each mile as it comes

Look to the better highway that’s ahead

One day that grand exit will come.

Randall Madden

July 26, 2014

Progress Report

The initial edits for my manuscript are completed, and I’m about one third of the way through inputting them for the next printed copy. I’ve added several more passages to shore up weaknesses in the plot line, and I’ve spent some time considering what I need to include for the story to mesh seamlessly in future installments for the series.

With all that said, I have to thank my wife for pointing out a serious error in the series for me. I was missing out on a large area of one culture by only showcasing their leadership. This made much of the tension in their part of the story less believable, because they felt like bit players in comparison to the other cultures.

As a result, I’ve went back and started putting in chapters for a new character. This girl is still closely attached to the ruling elite, but her storyline will carry her to places that would have otherwise remained unexplored.

I owe you a big thanks, Brittany. You’ve brought another portion of Cestre to light that may never have been known outside the confines of my own mind.

Edits

Here I stand, a week into the editing process, and I must say that I feel cautiously optimistic. I’ve done lots of reading on the things to keep in mind when working through the editing process, including dozens of Top Ten lists and advice columns. My biggest fear in the process of writing was that I might be too proud to cut work that needed to be cut, and to change characters that needed to be changed.

I’m optimistic because I’ve already been able to see material that needs to be added and material that needs to be removed altogether. I’m realizing that some of my characters are too flat, and that others are too inconsistent to come across as believable. Motivations need to be altered to bring characters into line with their own culture, rather than my own. Gradually I’m working through the content and trying to create a more seamless transition as the story progresses.

With all that said, I’m trying to remain cautious to the fact that some things are going to escape my notice. I’m still too close to the project to catch everything that needs to be altered or changed, so I’m trying to remember that criticisms will come from other readers and potential agents/editors down the line. When these come, I want to be able to view them objectively as to how they negatively affect the overall storyline.

I’m excited to see the story coming together, and I look forward to the challenge of the query process!

Rough Draft Complete!

It took nearly a year to finish, but the rough draft for my first novel has been completed!

Honestly, the process could have been completed in a couple of months if I had stayed at it. However, several months in the middle were lost in a bout with depression that I hope never has to be repeated. Waking up each morning and struggling to find a reason to live made writing an incredibly difficult task to face. As I begin my first round of editing, I can see where my mindset was at the beginning of the book, and how it changed as writing went on.

In many ways, it helped to convey the tone I intended throughout the work. The story was darkest in the middle of this leg of the story, and that was my low point in my personal life. My own attitudes and emotions were imprinted on some of the characters, and as I look back I realize that it was largely appropriate.

It’s strange, how characters take on a life of their own. There are many individuals I had planned deaths for, only to find them still a part of the team as the book drew to a close. Some of them even survived the encounters in which I meant for them to perish! On the other side, though, I lost a character or two along the way that I really didn’t intend to lose. One particular old man still bothers me, and while I wish I could go back and rewrite the passage to give him a happier ending, I know that would be a greater injustice than his cruel fate.

Maybe this doesn’t make sense to you, or maybe you’re nodding your head and saying, “Yeah. I know exactly what he’s talking about.” I think anyone who has spent much time writing knows that you have to let your characters walk where the story takes them. If the world becomes real, the events feel as uncontrollable to me as a writer as the events of the real world. No one wants to get that phone call saying a loved one has had an accident. The same can be said, to a lesser emotional degree, of characters I’ve created. They have lives and stories to tell, and sometimes their death means part of their story can never be told. It is locked in my head (and my notes) forever.

I’m excited to know that the first stage of writing this book has come to an end. Even though I have at least three more books planned in this series, I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that I have written a full-length book. There have been many voices along the way, telling me that I’d never make a living as a writer, and that only jobs with a tangible output have real value to society. I allowed those voices to dictate my writing for the last decade, and I have not written nearly as much as I could have. That is my one regret, and it also informs my advice to other intrepid writers. Don’t ever allow others to tell you that writing is a waste of time.

I may never make money with this book, and it may never even find a publisher. Yet even if I knew in the beginning, when I sat down last June to start brainstorming for the world of Cestre, that this manuscript would sit on my shelf and collect dust for the rest of my life, I still would embark on the journey. I feel that I’m a more complete person for the journey. Time spent in so many characters’ heads has helped me to better understand my own self, and how I come to understand the world around me.

I’m rambling now. I’ll end it here by saying a big thank you to the people who have motivated me along the way, and who continue to motivate me as I move into the editing process. A special thank you is in order for my mother, my wife and son, and for my Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Ford. She reinforced my love of reading and always told me I’d dedicate my first book to her. Whether it is ever published, Mrs. Ford, know that this first novel is dedicated to you.

Random Thoughts

I’m one of those weird people who enjoys lying down under a tree and listening to the wind blow through the leaves. There’s something that speaks to me on a primal level when I escape from technology and the indoors, and I just fall back into the nature that we forget about so often.

Call it what you will (my preferred term is reflection), but I need time to clear my head from the stress and worry of daily life. Thirty minutes beneath a tree leaves me feeling more refreshed than any eight-hour period on a manmade bed. This is when I feel that I allow God to truly speak to me.

Give it a try sometime. You never know what will occur to you with time spent in reflection, in the peace and quiet of nature.